jetbag:

one time i actually thought i had a chance with someone 

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dragonlord42:

the fact that 66 + 44 doesn’t add up to 100 really pisses me off

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esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
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and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

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oMGGGG

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pizza cares

Pizza understands

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switch-off-the-stars:

squidsqueen:

dw:

when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

When it occured to us that “said” implies a direct quote, while “was like” clarifies that you mean to communicate the person’s tone and general point without quoting them word for word.

THANK YOU

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sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

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therailz:

when you fuck up and realize there’s nothing you can do so you just accept it

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kansass:

lets play a game called are u bad at texting back or do u hate me

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